By: Sahra Mohamed
Trust is one of the most fragile yet essential aspects of human relationships. When someone we confided in breaks that trust, whether a friend, partner, or coworker, the impact of their actions can be upsetting. The memories of shared moments may remain, but when their actions contradict the bond you believed in, how do you find the courage to trust again?
Psychological studies have shown that when trust is violated, the brain processes it similarly to physical pain, activating areas associated with distress and emotional trauma. Research in social psychology also indicates that experiencing betrayal can lead to long term difficulties in trusting others, increasing anxiety and emotional withdrawal. This explains why rebuilding trust feels daunting and why many struggle to form new relationships after being hurt.
A study titled “Neural signatures of betrayal aversion: an fMRI study of trust,” published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience (2014), found that trust violations activate the brain’s pain centers, leading to a natural aversion to future vulnerability.
Relearning trust doesn’t happen overnight, but surrounding yourself with small, positive human interactions can help. It could be the barista who remembers your coffee order, the neighbor who greets you warmly, or the coworker who genuinely listens. Studies in positive psychology suggest that small, everyday connections, sometimes called “micro-moments” may help rebuild faith in humanity over time. These interactions strengthen emotional resilience and encourage openness to forming new, meaningful bonds.
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s research in American Psychologist (2013), “Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become,” explains how small positive interactions with others can strengthen emotional resilience and trust.
It’s easy to blame yourself for not recognizing deception sooner but having self-compassion during your pain is crucial. Many experts believe that learning to forgive yourself for misplaced trust is an important part of recovery. Understanding that some people are simply skilled at deception, can help ease self-blame and allow you to move forward without carrying unnecessary guilt.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in self compassion, emphasizes that treating yourself with kindness can help accelerate emotional healing. Her book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind” (2011), discusses how self-kindness helps individuals navigate betrayal and loss. Remember, a person’s actions are not a reflection of your worth or intelligence.
Before you can trust others, you must rebuild trust in yourself. People who trust themselves tend to recognize red flags earlier and set healthier boundaries. Prioritizing activities that reinforce self-trust, such as journaling, therapy, or self-reflection, can create hope for trusting others again. Healing from trust isn’t just about letting go of the past but making space for new, healthier connections. Sometimes, that means physically changing your environment by moving to a new city or simply redefining your personal and professional boundaries in your current place. Above all, trust that time, self-care, and new experiences will gradually restore your ability to connect. The right friendships, relationships, and opportunities will come when you’re ready, one small act of trust at a time.
Leave a Reply